My Higher Power is John Stamos
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize