**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
