it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
