trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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