Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize