Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
