I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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