Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
