1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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