You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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