AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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