I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
