i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
