sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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