Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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