So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
