Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
