i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
