I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
