that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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