careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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