Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize