my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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