Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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