He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
