And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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