Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
