he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
