woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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