For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
