You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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