she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
