I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
