he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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