and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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