I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
