Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
