My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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