I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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