Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
