Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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