I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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