Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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