I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
