On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
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I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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