Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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