I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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