I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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