Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize