Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
