Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
