The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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