last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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