i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
