Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
