I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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