We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I take back everything I said about communal showers
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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