why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I believe in your delicious
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize